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Natalia Romanova [userpic]

#39 Jealousy

September 22nd, 2006 (02:54 am)

There were times when Natasha Romanova, the Black Widow, hated Matt Murdock more than any other person on Earth. Matt knew she’d do anything for him and there were times, like now, when he took advantage of that fact. The worst part, she always let him do it too.

How could she say no to him? She still loved him. She’d never deny that fact, but there were times when she wished she didn’t love him as much as she did. Like now. There’s nothing she wouldn’t do for him and at times she hated herself for it.

She watched women move in and out of his life. Not one of them stayed around for very long and she was always there after it was over to help him to pick up the pieces. Karen, Heather, some others, even the ninja, and now Milla, it was always the same. Something made them leave him, whether it was death or something else. She was the only one who was always there for him.

Yet she was the one who had to watch from the sidelines and not be with him.

The latest woman in Matt’s life was Milla, the estranged wife. Correction. The former wife. She’d had the marriage annulled. Yet Matt, in typical Matt fashion still worried about her. He worried enough to ask Tasha to find her and get her out of country, away from the mess over Matt’s identity as Daredevil and the warrant for his arrest.

How did she get herself into these situations?

She knew, but she hated to admit it, even to herself. She was human and like every human on the planet, she had feelings. She loved Matt Murdock, still, even after all these years. She knew she’d probably always love him and would always do what he asked of her, including taking care of the woman in his life.

A person Natasha was completely jealous of.

Natasha risked life and limb for a woman who had what she wanted for herself. Matt. She’d always consider walking away from him one of the biggest mistakes of her life, but at the time it seemed like the thing she had to do. Looking back now, she realized it had been a mistake. A mistake she couldn’t fix.

Matt and she had moved on with their lives, mostly for the better, and they both had agreed that it probably wouldn’t work between them again. But it didn’t stop her from wanting to be with him again. She’d probably always want to be with him, but probably never would be.

Instead she got to watch him with other women and try to buy the feelings of jealousy.

Natasha sighed and went to find Milla. She wouldn’t let Matt down.